NOT A REAL POST. HONEST.
DPS- 500K Admin ChesterCheese announced that ‘we’re resetting’ the entire league following the 5.3 Million dps run DPS run on ISE earlier today. “It’s just not fair” Chester mentioned in chat earlier today, ” we worked so hard to pad our numbers. This just isn’t fair anymore.”
In related news, resale value on unsold Tholian Recluses dropped below the 50 million EC mark for the first time in it’s history. Gold resellers are panicking as inventories of the once popular APB carrier dump their inventories on the open exchange.
With the advent of the new Krenim Consoles, even the most unqualified player running a rainbow build can break 50,000 DPS – without even spamming the spacebar. “We have no choice but to kick everyone who qualified for 100k 250K and 500K, ” continued Chester,”…and we’re announcing that in addition to setting up a new channel DPS-Unobtanium, we are resetting the requirements to 20 seconds runtime in ISA versus having to post DPS numbers. ‘Cause it’s all about speed now.”
In these classified screen caps, you see the potential damage of these new consoles, available now on Holodeck – if you know who to ask…
Earlier today the Lootcritter was able to break 30K for the first time. And cried.
CLR—Crystalline[0:21]— Dmg(DPS) — [redacted] 805,257,714,073,600(38,345,606,430,720) [redacted] 142,379(14,238) [redacted] 2,796(2,796) [redacted] 2,340(585) [redacted] 1,442(1,442) [redacted] 135(68) [redacted] 0(0)
Borrowed from Reddit poster Bavra@gmw. Yes, that’s trillions of damage.
This might be funny if it wasn’t true.
First of all – yes, there was a 5.3 million DPS run on ISA. No, I won’t repost the link, primarily because the authors have requested we don’t. They completed the run in about 30 seconds +/- a few ‘holy fucks’ in astonishment.
Now before you get all excited and run out to buy these consoles from your friendly neighborhood access-reselling fleet operators, this is an unintended error which was quickly identified and changed by the development team. The role out of the fix is pending, but it’s safe to assume that these consoles will be ‘aligned with the current meta’ very very soon.
In other news, Cryptic staffers posted this wonderful link about QA nightmares from Gawker publication’s Kotaku: A bit off-topic, but here’s a good article on how QA functions. STO’s QA Lead is quoted as well.
Trying very hard not to make a joke…..