Breach Lag – it’s that special kind of fun that keeps on giving.

Disclaimer: Lag happens for many reasons, including my own connection and hardware. However, after this mornings lag, I’m beginning to wonder if…


Lag is a lot like the Sasquatch. Unless you’re smelling him while pulling foot-long hairs from between your teeth, he doesn’t actually exist. You can watch YouTube footage, read countless reports of sightings (smellings, footprints) and still wonder aloud, “you guys are nuts.” The same thing goes for lag. When it’s not affecting you, people who comment on it, or after remaining pretty much inactive for an entire Breach run claim that lag made their run suck are full of horse-hockey. And I’m not talking ‘ha ha’ kinds of poop, I’m talking Donald Trump levels of  diplomacy-destroying BS.

Until lag happens to you. Then suddenly you believe in Bigfoot, UFO’s and you’re convinced that building a wall will keep the aliens out.

So in light of this mornings unusual Breach runs – and I’m quickly beginning to hate my once favorite mission – I’ve compiled a list of unusual phenomena I’ve experienced in the first three runs today. If this keeps up – there is no way in hell I’ll complete 14 on one alt let alone eleven (99 runs left).  Damn you STO, you vex me so.

You know you’re experiencing ‘The Breach’ lag in Star Trek Online when:

  • You complete the trench run before 1 shot is fired (this is good lag).
  • You subconsciously hear the ‘Benny Hill’ theme.
  • You find yourself inside a wall, after you explode without having been shot at.
  • You teleport backwards, into a warp core breech supplied by another reverse teleporting player. (This clearly took incredible skill and planning)
  • You die legitimately, but suddenly reappear unharmed (this is also good lag, and no it’s not a trait).
  • You launch pets and they disappear. You launch more and end up with double of what’s possible. (For a Scimitar, this is excellent drone-lag)
  • The dreadnought explodes before you fire (fun to watch, great lag)
  • The dreadnought reappears AFTER it blows up, and kills you. (not so much fun)
  • The right ‘Subpower’ crystal shows up, in two places.  At the same time.

    I’m not talking about this one 😉
  • The giant dilithium crystal blows up, before you fire. (really awesome lag).
  • The giant dilithium crystal stops turning and just sits there, destroying your team over and over and over….Groundhog Day is a real phenomenon.
  • You’re about to escape the hangar with 15 seconds to spare,
    • and you reverse teleport inside, to a complete standstill and die.
    • you suddenly jump forward into the ceiling or forward wall and stick long enough for the timer to fail
    • after crossing the threshold you find yourself back in the main reactor (didn’t happen to me, but did happen to a teammate)
  • And the best one of all – you SNR and crash 30 meters from the exit.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s